1. Lose 50 pounds. The key to attaining this goal is to not be particular about how I lose the 50. How much does a right foot and two pinkies weigh?
2. Go to bed earlier than midnight. Or start sleeping in until 10:00 every morning and get fired from my job. Not sure which direction I’ll go on this one just yet.
3. Cut Justin Bieber’s hair. I have no plan of attack at the moment, but I think achieving goal #2 will be a step in the right direction.
4. Have my eyebrows waxed more often. This might not seem like a significant goal to you, but when your hairdresser refers to you as a wooly mammoth, you might consider it.
5. Make my kids do more chores. This goal allows me to negate what would be goals #6-72 for myself. It’s quite brilliant of me, really.
Whatever your resolutions are, I hope you have a wonderful new year! Stay safe!